Monday, January 07, 2008

Goodness Gaseous!

In the circles I move in, I am viewed as quite a broad-minded chap. Just because I am an engineer by profession, I don’t look down condescendingly on those less-fortunate ones such as doctors, teachers, pilots, accountants and scientists to name a few.

There are people ,I know, who make a living out of exploring the Antarctic, some who specialize in the study of the behaviour of wart-hogs in Africa and even those like Red Adair who get a high out of putting out wild fires from oil wells. It takes all sorts to make this world.

So, when I read that Dr.Michael Levitt, the gas guru, has spent the better part of his life, comparing the, er, exhaust emissions of men and women and publishing factoids about, flatus, my reaction is quite subdued. To each his own fetish, I say. To each his own chosen vocation. Each to answer his own calling, I conclude and leave Dr.Levitt to his, er, fartistic pursuit.

I also have this ability to look at the brighter side of things. So, when I come across this piece which explains that scientists in Australia are trying to inject kangaroo bacteria into the intestines of cows, to make the latter let out methane-free gas like the former, I don’t complain, “ Why can’t cows learn to keep their rumblings abdominal less phenomenal like the kangaroo?”. Instead I thank the benevolent Lord that he had not programmed the methane-rich cow to jump 9.14 metres into the air like the kangaroo and with each leap spread its gaseous bounty all over the place. The Lord God made them all, I reason, and ours is not to tinker with his creations. He who made it knew what it needed to emit, better than a man like me, I praise Him and move on.


Anonymous said...

Can a leopard change its spots? Great -- very very humourous, the last 2 blogs.

Raj said...

Sankar, thanks.

braindrain said...


Nice article.

There is a book by Jim Dawson titled "Who Cut the Cheese" on the above subject. It is quite informative and naturally hilarious. According to him , a sizable amount of the green house gases are emitted by the 1.3 Million+ cows across the globe. And there are global research on containing the flatulence of cattle breed in order to control the "Global Warming".

Raj said...

brain drain : poor cows. can't even, er, do what they know best.

Usha said...

Humble salutations to you o superior one!
I hope the bacteria does not cause unexpected results and make cows start jumping over the moon whenever they have abdominal rumblings.

Raj said...

Usha, glad that didn't happen, eh? The dog wouldn't have laughed so much then.