Friday, May 30, 2008

The perfect voice

In my previous post, I had referred to the plight of frogs and crickets whose mating calls get drowned in the high noise generated by human beings and, sadly, do not reach the intended recipients.

The problem is no less acute for the human race, believe me. There is far too much competition. And far too many voices riding the sound waves.

So, if you are a human being, as I suspect you are, and you want your voice to stand out amidst that of thousands of human beings and reach out to your potential mate, what do you do?

What you need to do is speak in such a manner that you utter no more than 164 words per minute and pause for 0.48 seconds between sentences. Sentences themselves should fall rather than rise in intonation. Make sure that your voice exhibits vocal traits associated with positive characteristics, such as confidence and trust. (source)

Using that formula, unleash the cultivated voice in the vicinity of the prospective mate and watch him or her, as the case may be, swoon and drop into your waiting arms.

And, when you arms are free, remember to send me a ‘thank you’ note


Usha said...

simply grunt and drag him/her by the hair to the nearest cave. Much simpler, what say!

dipali said...

That's the way I got hooked, Raj!
( No regrets either, thank you)

Viswanathan said...

What about beating the chest?

Raj said...

Usha, there is much to be said in favour of such direct methods!

dipali, good for you.

ottayan, why not? Will add to the effect.