Friday, June 16, 2006

On Japan, Aishwarya, Arabia and CPI-M

I am told by reliable sources that M.K.Stalin, Rahul Gandhi and Uddhav Thackeray are visiting Japan shortly. They have heard so much about the “Land of the Rising Son” and are keen on picking up some valuable tips.

But, first, they must learn, from the Japanese, the importance of paying obeisance to elders and treating others with utmost courtesy. It is such a solemn ritual there. For example, when the Japanese people address each other, they respectfully attach the suffix ‘san’ to the name, as in Suzuki-san, Tanaka-san, etc. Three of my friends from Chennai by names Va, Gane and Nate went to Japan on a business trip. They came back as Va-san, Gane-san and Nate-san.

The practitioners of martial arts such as judo, karate and wrestling may kill their opponents with blood-curdling, hair-raising cries, but never fail to observe the right protocol. A Sumo wrestler was killed in a fight last year. His victor made it a point to attend the funeral and bid a tearful goodbye to the vanquished opponent, waving his hands and crying, “Ta-ta Sumo”.

The reason why Aishwarya Rai is so respectful to seniors in the film industry is because her great grandfather hailed from Japan. Yes, he was a warrior there. His name was Samu Rai.

Don’t believe the rumour that Aishwarya has completely ditched her ex-boy-friends, Salman and Vivek. Even last month she attended the Khans film festival in France and stayed at the Hotel Oberoi there. But, why does she always dress in black when she is there? That’s because her current boy-friend, Sheikh Abhibachchan insists that she follows the tradition of the women in Saudi Arabia.

These Sheikhs! They like black-females and then they black-male the world with threats of cutting-off oil supplies. Oil is selling at 70$ a barrel. Black Gold, as it is called!

Not that real gold is getting cheaper. It is going to touch Rs 1000/- a gram. And, what’s worse, the gold that you buy is not pure. Even, in the gold shop, run by the Communist Party of India, a customer was cheated. He expected 24-carat gold, but learnt that the CPI-M had only 2-carats. Prakash Karat and Brinda Karat.

These Communists are so disorganized that the famous Gujarati playwright, Bernaudbhai Shah once commented, “We should have had communism already but for these communists.” Why aren’t they producing great leaders like Lenin and Stalin anymore?

But I have digressed. I was telling you that Stalin was due to visit the Land of the Rising Son…………


Krish said...

And Lenin has passed on the mantle to V.T.Vijayan ;-)

Casement said...

On the contrary, when Hon and Hyun came from Japan to Chennai on a business trip, they went back as Hon-da and Hyun-dai. You are right...we must learn a thing or two abt courtesy from them:)

Raj said...

Thennavan, not to forget Arai Marx, elder brother of Karl Marx.

Casement, that was a good one.