Sunday, March 05, 2006

The Brahmastra

The historic Indo-US nuclear deal was signed after several rounds of hectic negotiations. While dozens of scientists, diplomats and bureaucrats participated in these talks, the public is not aware that the deal almost fell through, but was made possible by the single-handed effort of one man. A senior correspondent from Plus Ultra reports from behind the scenes and provides the hour-by-hour sequence of events that unfolded on March 2nd 2006.


8.00 am: Indian team consisting of Ronan Sen, India’s Ambassador to USA, Shyam Saran, Foreign Secretary and Mr.Narayanan, National Security Advisor admit to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh that no headway was made during the discussions that went on till early hours of the morning

9.00 am: US Secretary of State, Ms Condoleeza Rice, says that US will insist on safeguards

10.00 am: Indian scientists offer to wear pads, gloves and abdomen guards while testing nuclear bombs

11.00 am: US rejects these safety measures as “short of adequate”

12.00 Noon : PM calls up US President George W Bush and says that India will now have to play its last trump card that afternoon. President Bush is still clueless what this is all about. PM issues instructions to launch Operation Brahmastra

2.00 pm:. President Bush visits Rashtrapathi Bhavan. Warmly welcomed by President Abdul Kalam.

3.00 pm: President Kalam begins his powerpoint presentation on his “Grand Vision 2025”

4.00 pm: President Kalam on his 10th slide and beginning to explain vision to President Bush, in his thick Tamil accent

5.00 pm: President Kalam on his 25th slide and warming to the theme. President Bush seen getting restless.
( Photo : President Bush seen in state of growing restlessness as President Kalam is transiting to his 42nd Powerpoint slide)

6.00 pm: President Kalam on his 45th slide, about to elaborate on his theme. President Bush seen getting extremely fidgety

7.00 pm: President Kalam on his 62nd slide, dwelling on his idea of power-generation by a mini-grid of microturbines running on methane released by Indian cattle. President Bush seen in extreme state of agitation.

8.00 pm: President Kalam on his 87th slide, and nearing the half-way mark of his presentation.

8.12 pm: President Bush throws up his hands in despair, capitulates and begs to be let out

8.14 pm: Indian negotiatiors with pen in hand ask Bush to sign the nuclear deal, if he wants to be put out of his misery. President Kalam stands menacingly with finger on the PgDn button of his laptop.

8.15 pm : President Bush inks the deal. PM sticks to his end of bargain and prevails upon President Kalam to stop his presentation.
8.17 pm: President Bush rushes to the safety of his Air Force One aircraft and takes off.

Operation Brahmastra was a complete success.

5 comments:

Shruthi said...

ROTFL!! :D

Raj said...

Thanks,Shruthi.

oz said...

That was H I L A R I O U S!!!!!!

Sarav said...

For a second there I thought you were talking about something serious... my bad. Should have known.

veena said...

hey amazingly hilarious one........