India- the vibrant democracy

The Bharatiya Custodians of Public Morality (BHACUPUMO) has condemned the organizers of the IPL league for allowing cheerleaders to take part in the cricket festivities. They are outraged by the fact that scantily clad women are being paraded before a mixed crowd (age group 10-70) in an attempt to tarnish the image of India. This, they argue, must be stopped forthwith.

In response, the Progressive Organisation of Women’s Rights ( POWOR) has come out with a strong statement that such a ban would be an infringement on the right of women to express themselves in a manner that they deem fit. The National Cheerleaders Union (NACHU) while endorsing the views of the POW however asked them not to be presumptuous, as there were male members too in the cheerleader squad.

Representing the Bollywood Association of Pensioned Villains (BASSOPEVI) Shatrughan Sinha issued a press release supporting the stand of BHACUPUMO and pointed out how in the hundreds of scenes that he had acted as the rapist, he had ensured that the rapee was always appropriately dressed. Not to be left out, J.Jayalitha of AIADMK demanded the resignation of M.Karunanidhi holding him responsible for the display of skimpily-clad girls at the Chepauk. In a concurrent message as President of the Group of Ex-Heroines of MGR movies ( GROEXHEM), she clarified in Freudian terms that her own insufficient attires in those movies should not invite criticism, as all that had happened in dream scenes, over which she had no control..

The Pediatric Society of India (PEDSOCI) and the Geriatric Community of India (GERCOMMI), took strong exception to one part of BHACUPOMO’s statement which referred to the age band as 10-70. In a joint communiqué, the PEDSOCI and GERCOMMI, while maintaining that they had no specific opinion on the advisability of having cheerleaders, insisted that those aged between 0-10 and above 70, were also part of the mixed crowd.

In an interview to NDTV, Mandira Bedi, (MABE) cricket expert, read out an ex-tempore poem that ridiculed the moral policing done in the name of safeguarding national culture.

The All-India Forum of Ex-tempore Poets (AIFEXPO) immediately was up in arms and expressed shock that a non-member had been given the chance to narrate poems. The AIFEXPO called upon its subscription-paying members to boycott all the programs of NDTV, until further instructions. “If you fail, to obey the mail, we’ll clip your tail, till you wail, and throw you in jail, without the option of bail”, the AIFEXPO’s letter said in lyrical, categorical terms.

Meanwhile, Nestle issued a legal notice to Mandira Bedi, their brand ambassador for 2-minute Maggie, for appearing for two minutes in a public show without her noodle straps that the terms of contract required her to wear all the time.

Last evening, the Prime Minister, under the aegis of the Sonia Gandhi Sycophants Syndicate ( SOGASYCSYN) called all warring factions for a meeting, during which a compromise was worked out, with the cheerleaders agreeing to increase their skirt length by an inch and reduce the angle of their hip sway by twenty degrees. A peace pipe was smoked, signaling the end of the dispute. However, it is understood that this symbolic ritual has incurred the wrath of Anbumani Ramadoss, self-appointed Chairman of the Anti-Smokers Brigade of India (ASBIN).

At the time of posting this, Plus Ultra has been served a stern notice by the Controller of Abbreviated Names ( COABNAM) that use of unauthorized and unregistered acronyms was ultra vires the guidelines issued by the COABNAM and to refrain from violating those norms. Reliable soruces say that Plus Ultra plans to rope in the support of the Fraternity of Bloggers of the Indian Diaspora ( FRABLOINDIA)