Saturday, January 06, 2007

What do you know?

All you readers out there who spend so many hours of your time, soaking in the wisdom that pours in generous measure out of my writing, don’t you find it strange that I continue to remain an anonymous entity and that you hardly know who I am or what my background is?

It’s only fair that I reveal some secrets of my past, where I hailed from and what my mission in life is. So, here goes.

1) Let me start with the most momentous event - my birth. When the stork came to deliver me, my mother wanted to keep the stork instead. But, SEBI authorities ruled in my favour, pointing out that it was against Stork Exchange rules. So, my parents put me in a basket which they kept outside their house, hoping that some kind-hearted couple will take me away. The next morning, they found that somebody had stolen just the basket and kept me behind. So, here I am.

2) When I was seven, unbeknownst to me, the stork delivered a baby to the couple who were later to become my in-laws. It is said, that when the baby was born, three stars were seen in the Eastern sky. Astrologers felt this was ominous, as on normal nights, there are 37,724 stars seen in the eastern sky. The foreboding proved right .Poor baby ended up marrying me when she grew up. So, here she is with me.

3) When the stork came to deliver our first daughter some years back, she took one look at us and refused to get off. The stork took her back home. Wife and I had to fly down to Sweden, to bring her back from Stork Home. So, here she is with us.

4) When the stork came to deliver our second daughter, we sensed something sinister. We had this growing suspicion that it wasn’t the stork that was producing these babies. It was the birds and the bees. We had been taken on a ride all along

5) These constant trials, tribulations and encounters with the stork have taken a terrible toll on my looks. However I owe it to my readers to, at least, reveal what I look like. So, here is a recent photograph that captures me in one of my rare moments when I am not Stork-raving mad.

There, thanks to the prompting by La Mukhs, I have unburdened all I had to disclose about myself. To continue with the chain, I wanted to tag La Tags, but I understand that she and her husband are currently out on a hunting expedition to the bird sanctuary, where they will shoot down certain rare and endangered species of birds, notably storks.

8 comments:

Lalita Mukherjea said...

LOL! Perfect. Vintage Raj, in fact.

Shruthi said...

Help! I am running out of intelligent-sounding compliments to bestow upon your blog!
So I will stick to the simplest. This was hilarious!!

Usha said...

Brilliant stork of imagination!

Anonymous said...

One more feather in your cap, rather your blog.
Its like Sachin's trademark straight drive.

Shiv

Raj said...

Lalita, my life story makes you laugh out loud?

Shruthi, thanks,that was the stork reality!

usha, thanks. I literally ran out of stork.

Shiv, thanks. When did sachin last play that straight drive?

dipali said...

Stork raving hilarious!

Raj said...

Dipali, thanks. I have run out of stock of stork words now.

Shpriya said...

So you have been stalked by the stork?

Here's how a doc gives an idea how to stop the stork :))

"Doc," said the husband, "I got nine kids and the wife's expecting again. How do I stop the stork?"

The doctor replied, "Shoot it in the air!"