Ad men are as guilty as Godmen.

In his column in Mint, Salil Tripathi writes:

..what drew many to his (Sai Baba’s) fold were two central claims: that he was divine, and that he performed miracles. Nearly 60 years ago, Sai Baba began producing vibhuti, or holy ash, and assorted trinkets, watches, sweets and fruits, presumably from thin air. Magicians showed these were conjurers’ tricks, but to no avail. His followers dismissed the magicians as publicity-seeking tricksters. To experience his miracles, you had to submit to him first. That meant that in a nation of massive illiteracy, he was encouraging people to shelve logic. Sai Baba deftly avoided challengers: Rationalist Abraham Kovoor could never meet him, nor did other sceptics. In The Times of India, C.P. Surendran recalls the amusing story when his mother challenged Sai Baba to give her a jackfruit, after he said she could ask for anything, and he’d produce it magically. Sai Baba hadn’t expected her to ask for a jackfruit; he couldn’t; his followers panicked and shouted at her, driving her away.

Consider the allegation made above “that in a nation of massive illiteracy, he was encouraging people to shelve logic”.

As I argued in a post 5 years back, Sai Baba was no different from and no more guilty of manipulation than corporate brand-builders and advertising agencies.

If Sai Baba had to draw attention and create a mass following, he naturally had to differentiate himself from other mortals and create a brand identity of his own. The flowing saffron-coloured robes, his distinctive hairstyle, the hype and the hoopla over his ‘magical’ powers to pull out watches and gold rings out of thin hair, his Bhajan sessions which would send his followers into a trance- all went into the creation of the unique Sai Baba brand . Without this brand pull, he wouldn’t have enticed his followers to come into his fold seeking mental peace and serenity.

So, how is this any different from an advertiser luring you into a make-believe world and leading you to imagine that by procuring a certain type of talcum powder, you would be transported to a sanitized world of blue skies and green grass, where you would have a wonderful spouse, a lovely home, a cute little dog and a smile on all the time?

If you go through the advertising history of Coca Cola and the slogans that they used during various times, you will discern a clear intent to promote a feeling of well-being subliminally and to ensure a brand association with such a feeling. How is Coke’s claim that “things go better with Coca Cola” any different from Sai Baba claiming that “life goes better when you follow me”? Can Coca Cola substantiate this claim and submit to an investigation by a panel of rationalists and eminent scientists?

In fact, Coca Cola’s website describes how even “Santa Claus’ in his red attire was a marketing creation of theirs. Millions of people- not just children- have suspended their disbelief for generations.

In his book, “buy-ology’, which I have discussed earlier, Martin Lindstrom says:

Almost every leading religion has ten common pillars underlying its foundation: a sense of belonging, a clear vision, power over enemies, sensory appeal, story telling, grandeur, evangelism, symbols, mystery and rituals.

But, what is not so well acknowledged is the fact that these pillars happen to have a great deal in common with our most beloved brands and products.

and goes on to provide examples from both, for each of the ten pillars.

When brands and products can cast a relentless spell on seemingly educated  people and make them delude themselves into a false sense of well being, why accuse Sai Baba of encouraging illiterate people to shelve logic and single him out?

If godmen are guilty, so are ad men.

Not doing something.

Would you like to take a vacation that will not cost you anything, yet will rejuvenate your spirits?

I found out how this could be done, after reading a piece by P.G.Wodehouse, titled “The secret pleasures of Reginald”.

Reggie’s method involved not doing something, as opposed to doing nothing. For instance, he would deliberately not spend the weekend with a person of his acquaintance, Bodfish. Nothing was more awful to him than spending a weekend with Bodfish, and conversely nothing was more delightful than not spending a weekend with Bodfish.

Therefore, at the precise time when Reggie would have been heading to Bodfish’s place had he accepted the invitation, he would recline in a long chair in his club, eyes fixed glassily on the ceiling, and delight in not whirling down in his car on the country roads and later in not strolling down to Bodfish’s garage. Soon, he would not go into Bodfish’s house and not listen to Mrs Bodfish on the subject of her son’s premature intelligence. He would then look forward to the happy time after dinner, when he would pass it in not playing bridge with Bodfishes and their neighbour.

Other evenings, he would have a jolly time in not going to the theatre and not watching a play. And so on. These non-visits would perk him up and bring him back to office on a Monday morning feeling like a lion.

So, just apply this technique. Take a week off and deposit the LTA in the bank. Then sit at home or lie down on the sofa at the precise moment when you would have normally set off for office. Then take delight in not driving through traffic and not searching for a parking place for your car. Later, spend some time in not sitting down with your boss for those boring reviews. Enjoy the lunch hour in not eating that dreadful pantry meal at office. Devote an hour or two in not having those tiresome conference calls. And late in the evening, rejoice in not wading through the traffic again.

Do spare a few moments to not writing to me and to not telling me how it works.

How dare you be happy.

An opinion piece in the Open Page of The Hindu today is critical of the World Cup victory celebrations, or any celebrations for that matter, when farmers in rural India are committing suicide or are languishing in extreme poverty.

Sixty-seventy per cent of India's population is living on less than Rs. 20 a day. A bottle of Diet coke for us? The electricity used in a day-night match could help a farmer irrigate his fields for more than a few weeks! Do you know that loadshedding is also class dependent? Two hours in metros, 4 in towns and 8 in villages. Now, who needs electricity more? A farmer to look after his crop day and night, irrigate, pump water and use machines or a few bored, young professionals with disposable incomes, to log on to Facebook and watch IPL?

How can we splurge thousands on our birthday parties and zoom past in our AC vehicles and sit in cushy chairs in our AC offices and plan a weekend trip to Coorg when on the way, in those small villages, just a few minutes' walk from the roads, someone might be consuming pesticide or hanging himself from a tree for just Rs.10, 000? How can we?

This is not new. P.Sainath has never missed an opportunity to remind the nation, whenever it celebrated any success in any field, of its extreme insensitivity to the plight of farmers. “Nero fiddling while Rome was burning” has been the recurring charge levelled in all his speeches.

Today I saw a tweet which suggested that there should be a ban on ads on days when a prominent person had died. Is it not wrong for consumers to think of splurging on goodies, when a section of the population is grieving over the death of an individual?

Those who take such a grim view of the situation and recommend universal mourning till every single person is relieved of his suffering are appealing to your sense of guilt. How can you indulge in such joyous celebrations and festivities when elsewhere your own countrymen are wallowing in such misery? Implicit in their admonition is the presumption that happiness is a zero sum game. If I am happy, it must be at the cost of someone else in the world, which makes my state of happiness morally repugnant and unacceptable.

This argument does have some basis. In cases where farmers are deprived of their ancestral land to benefit or enrich an industry, or when rural India is denied basic facility while urban India gets disproportionate attention, they are victims of a zero-sum equation, which needs to be corrected. After all, the total funds available for development are finite, and there should be an equitable distribution.

But, even if and when such equity is established, we have to reckon with variation in human responses.

As the unit becomes larger- from families to neighbourhoods to towns to states to nations- the diversity among human beings increases. There would be a variety of moods and sentiments at any time arising out of unique developments in one’s vicinity, and unless it is a disaster of a large scale (war, earthquakes, and terror attacks) it is impossible to get all people emotionally aligned. On the continuum scale ranging from celebrations on one end to mourning on the other, different people in different locations will find themselves at different points at different times.

I must therefore have the right to celebrate a World Cup victory, without having to feel guilty for the misfortune that has befallen the farmers. This is not being insensitive or apathetic, nor am I belittling the problem that they face. I am merely exercising my right to be happy when the occasion so justifies.

"The Entitlement to moralise"

If public figure A criticizes another public figure B on issues involving morality or ethics, or takes a strong position on any matter, A immediately lays himself open for a scrutiny of his own credentials to speak out against B or to take up the cause.. When some evidence of past wrong-doing or an act of impropriety is found, A relinquishes the moral right to criticize B, and the sting is taken out.

Some recent examples: Within days of his successful fast as part of his anti-corruption crusade, Anna Hazare’s past was examined and some evidence found of some observations made by Justice Sawant against him. Arundhati Roy who has taken on the entire State on several issues was found to have constructed a house on notified farm land in violation of law. So, she stands discredited.

The principle here is that as Hazare and Roy do not practice what they preach, they undermine their own message and are guilty of hypocrisy. He who hasn’t sinned alone can cast the first stone at others.

For the sake of this argument, if we concede that both Hazare and Roy are well-intentioned in their respective crusades, does the fact of their wrongdoings elsewhere in the past make them unworthy of taking up the crusade or cause? Will dismissing them thus not amount to commiting an ad hominem fallacy?

A.C.Grayling examines such a moral dilemma in one his essays (" Entitlement to moralise") in his book, “Thinking of Answers”. He says:

There is a point of philosophical importance here for the endeavour of trying to live an ethically good life, It is that there is such a thing as “doing one’s moral best’, which may and usually does fall short of what counsels of perfection require, but nevertheless constitutes a serious gesture in the right direction. A person who is vegetarian, but owns leather belts and shoes, may reason that being an habitual meat-eater makes a vastly greater slaughter-footprint than owning a pair of leather shoes, and trusts that this will make some degree of difference towards the good.

…What the idea of ‘doing one’s moral best’ comes down to, when it is sincere and genuine, is something close to Aristotle’s idea that, in effect, one lives an ethically good life by trying to do so. The trying is itself the succeeding; otherwise the only good people would be perfect people, and all those striving to do their moral best would not be good people.

…In a sin culture, even a suspicion of hypocrisy in the messenger is enough to harm the message. The tacit idea is that if the source of the claim is polluted, the claim itself must be questionable. In the Greek view, the value of what is said and the character and the actions of the person who says it are separate things, and can be independently evaluated on their merits.

…Human beings are a mixed alloy, familiarly enough; the very same person is capable of being good and terribly bad at different times or in different respects, and that inescapable fact makes the greatest moral philosophers almost at one in insisting that we should resist the mistake of thinking that anyone is wholly one or the other, even at their best or worst moments respectively.

I would rather have an energy-wasting Gore fighting to save the planet than an energy-wasting Gore not caring about the planet. People like Gore have a platform and the worst thing they could do is fail to use the platform in support of worthwhile causes, whether or not they are personally no better than the rest of us in doing their individual bit.

Applying what Grayling says to our context, we can disagree with Hazare on his methods, and also his insistence on extra-constitutional appointments, but should not invoke some past misdeed of his to discredit him in this situation. Same with Arundhati Roy.

The cotton riches of India

The Mirror of Literature, Amusement and Instruction published in the year 1847, by Charles Ollier, describes the cotton wealth of India and makes an argument for Britain to pump in more capital to bring more land under cotton cultivation.

In old times, as now, the greatest cotton country in the world was India. If we will be at the pains to examine the history of that country as far as its manufactures are concerned, we shall find that in all ages it has been unrivalled for the production of cotton goods, its fabrics being still superior in fineness and beauty to anything produced by the looms of the West. Many circumstances, no doubt, have always concurred to ensure to it this distinction; but among these must unquestionably be reckoned the command of a profusion of the raw material of the most exquisite quality. For several generations the cotton goods of India were at once superior in quality and inferior in price to the fabrics of Europe; and as late as sixty years ago, it was very generally feared that the quantities of them poured into the home market by the East India Company would utterly swamp our own manufacturers.

This circumstance, which appeared at the time to be an evil, should probably be reckoned among the chief causes of our industrial prosperity; for, driven to compete with the productions of a country where both labour and the raw material were much cheaper than here in England, we applied our utmost ingenuity to the invention and improvement of machinery, by the aid of which we have been enabled to turn the tables but too effectually upon the Hindus. We can now take the cotton grown at their very doors, transport it sixteen or seventeen thousand miles by sea, spin, weave, and dye it in the heart of Great Britain, and then carry it back to India, and sell it much cheaper than they can afford to do. This is one of the most striking triumphs of modern civilisation, and tends to encourage the hope that, in mere physical processes, there is scarcely any limit to improvement.

There is scarcely any province in India in which some kind of cotton might not be grown. Throughout nearly the whole plains of the Punjab it is found to flourish luxuriantly, more especially in the ceded Doab of Jullender and in the contiguous one of Bari, still nominally at least under Sikh authority. Assam likewise, on the north-east, produces excellent cotton; and descending through every parallel of latitude, from the Doab of the Ganges and Jumna down to Coimbatore and Tinevelli, we find innumerable districts admirably adapted to the cultivation of cotton. Accordingly, from the remotest ages the natives of Hindustan have been clad almost in nothing else. Nor is this all. There is scarcely a single comfort or luxury of life in the promotion of which cotton is not an instrument. From the sumptuous beds, sofas, and divans of the Zenana, down to the humblest pack-saddle for an ass, every thing in India is stuffed with cotton. They have cotton tapestry, cotton carpets, cotton tents and hangings, cotton cordage and ropes, with nearly every thing else of a similar description.

Let us now endeavour to make some approximation to the amount of cotton thus consumed in India. Its inhabitants may be estimated in round numbers at two hundred millions of souls, each of whom consumes annually in clothing two pounds of cotton on an average, which will make four hundred million pounds of cotton appropriated to the manufacture of dress. At least an equal amount must be consumed in the other uses to which, as already stated, cotton is applied; so that the people of Hindustan themselves use annually the enormous amount of eight hundred million pounds of cotton, without taking at all into account the quantity they manufacture for exportation.

And yet not one-twentieth part of the land adapted to the cultivation of the cotton plant or shrub is appropriated to that species of cultivation. One obstacle, it is said, is the land-tax, which the East India Company has hitherto levied with too little regard to its own interests. To what extent taxes on cotton-grounds ought to be remitted, we are not here prepared to say; but it would most undoubtedly be wise in the Indian government to make all practicable sacrifices to encourage and facilitate the cultivation of cotton.

One preliminary step, however, must be the construction of railways and other roads, otherwise, when the cotton shall have been grown, its price will have been so much enhanced before it reaches the coast, that, however excellent in itself, it will be wholly unable to compete with the cottons of America. It is preeminently for our interest that the people of India should be wealthy; and to render them so, we can imagine no better means than pouring in among them annually many of those millions of capital which at present find their way across the Atlantic.

Smoking and movies

In one of his essays in his book, “Thinking of Answers”, A.C.Grayling writes on the ban on smoking and its effect on movie-making:

Here is a real problem for actors and directors of feature films: how do you convey human emotion without the aid of a cigarette? Before cigarettes changed from being the ultimate symbol of cool to a dangerous bad habit, they provided a hook for every conceivable important movie moment: mystery, suspense (the face between the upturned collar points on the dark street, momentarily illuminated by the flare of the cigarette lighter), lust, seduction (Laura Bacall asking Humphrey Bogart for a light), anger, disappointment, rest, elegance, relief, tension, tranquility – in short, the human condition in the glow at the end of the a little tube of rolled up intoxicant leaf

Yes, coming to think of it, cigarettes (along with beedis, pipes and cigars) have been used extensively by movie directors in a variety of scenes. Whether it was a villain casually stubbing it out preparatory to raping a woman; or Al Pacino tormenting a to-be victim in ‘Godfather” , or Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, and several more, ‘smoking’ served as an excellent filler during a pause between action scenes or even during one. I guess it also made it easier for the actors to get their hands to do something and appear more natural.

Tamil movie watchers of my generation will remember Rajinikanth in this famous scene where he takes on the challenge of flipping his cigarette into the air and catching it with his mouth and to repeat this ten times. The prize if he succeeded: a Toyota car. And if he failed, he had to cut off his little finger. (Doesn’t matter that this was lifted from a Roald Dahl short story, “Man from the South”. )

A modest proposal

The 2011 Census, currently underway in India, is likely to come up with a population figure exceeding 1.2 billion.

If it keeps growing at this pace, the country will soon face a massive shortage of food and space, resulting in much misery for all. Everybody has been saying this all along but done nothing about it.

It therefore falls on my broad shoulders to lead humanity out of this crisis. I’ve been exercising my mind to find a solution to this problem and have drawn inspiration from a few science-fiction books and movies.

One method as suggested by the movie Soylent Green set in a dystopian future was to feed the population with processed food that was centrally manufactured by a Govt-controlled Corporation. The processed food was called Soylent Green and it was made from human bodies. This system is efficient and has other merits too, but is not very elegant if you ask me.

The film Logan’s Run came up with the idea of euthanasia. Those who reached the age of 30 were bumped off in a religious ceremony known as Carousel. This method is undoubtedly elegant, but is bound to cause some serious imbalance. You can't have the entire population made up of exuberant sub-30 creatures. You need some moderating influence and sagacity that comes only at my age.

I personally prefer the method advocated by Kurt Vonnegut in his story 2BR02B. For a change he doesn’t paint a dystopic future. He, in fact, describes a fairly Utopian setting where illness has been completely eliminated and death can happen only by accidents, if at all. But, the population of the USA is tightly regulated and maintained at forty million, through a combination of infanticide and assisted suicide. If you wanted to have a baby, you had to find someone to volunteer to die.

This is not only an elegant and simple mechanism, but can also be made foolproof using the efficiency of the free market. Those who desire to have birth certificates for their newborns must produce a ‘death certificate’ of some other person, purchased in a ‘Life Exchange’. The proceeds from the sale of the death certificate will go to the heirs of the deceased, offering them an incentive to put him up for sale in the first place.

Post-Census India will need some such model. Human inventiveness knows no bounds and I am sure that we will be able to build on this concept and refine it to the complete satisfaction of all.

Conversation with daughter-35

Daughter: This classmate of mine pisses me off completely….

Me: Hello, would you like to modify that sentence?

Daughter: Ok, this classmate of mine bugs me totally…

Me: That’s better. Why use a dirty word in a routine conversation?

Daughter: Appa, ‘piss off’ is not dirty. You can check the dictionary if you want. You confuse it with ‘piss” – which is your problem.

Me: Listen, the origin is same. Why use it when there are non-controversial alternatives available?

Daughter: Because the alternatives don’t have the same impact.

Me: You just replaced the word with ‘bug’ and I thought it made perfect sense to me.

Daughter: It will not, to someone of my generation.

Me: Look, when you talk to someone of my generation- maybe your professors and bosses in the future-  you have to be restrained. You could end up making a ‘negative’ impact by using a word which we were taught not to use.

Daughter: You need to change with the times..

Me: Don’t you think you’ll react the same way if, 20 years later, your daughter uses a word that you find dirty now, as part of a routine conversation?

Daughter: You are right. It sure will piss me off.

Vacuous and Verbose-26

In April 2010, newspapers reported that the Prime Minister was enumerated for Census. Yesterday was the turn of the Vice President to get enumerated.

I find the usage of the term ‘enumerated’ in the above sentences quite odd. I have always understood it to mean ‘to count one by one’. Apparently it can also be used, in the context of a census, to describe a single person being counted.

In his infamous radio broadcast during World War II as a German prisoner, P.G.Wodehouse described the tendency of the German guards to keep counting the prisoners with elaborate ritual and annoying frequency. They would ask the hundreds of inmates to stand in line once before breakfast, once after breakfast, once before the exercise drill, once before going to bed, etc and painstakingly take a head count.

One of the prisoners, according to Wodehouse, swore that if he ever got out of prison alive and became rich, he would buy a German soldier, keep him in his backyard and count him 10 times a day.

Do the Census officials mean this when they say that the VP has been enumerated? That they made him stand up and had him counted to make sure that there was only one of him?

Vacuous and Verbose-25

Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh is reported to have said yesterday:

“Corruption strikes at the roots of good governance. It is an impediment to faster growth. It dilutes, if not negates, our efforts at social inclusion. It dents our international image and it demeans us before our own people. This is a challenge which has to be faced frontally, boldly and quickly.”

Being very much a part of public life and heading a Govt that has faced multiple charges of monumental corruption for many years, one would think he would have the prudence not to pontificate to society at large, on this matter. But, no sir, preach he must.

A point of interest here is the unconnected manner in which the PM talks about corruption in public life. It is as though he is able to dissociate from his PM persona at will, and maintain an arms’ length relationship with it. As if the corrupt Govt that he is heading is a third party for him.

I think he is perfecting a new form of ‘illeism”.

Illeism, says Wikipedia,  is a style (though archaic) employed by authors to describe, in the third person, an event that they participated in. Example: Julius Caesar describing the wars he took part in, used illeism to impart an air of objective impartiality to the account, which included justifications of the author's actions. In this way personal bias was presented, albeit dishonestly, as objectivity.

Illeism can take different forms. Sportspersons sometimes advise themselves “X (being the speaker himself) has to work more on his free throws”. (source)

Wiki also gives the example of a theologian Richard B. Hays who wrote an essay where he challenged earlier findings of one Richard B. Hays. Similarly, Dr Manmohan Singh, the public speaker is able to come out of his PM’s garb and earn brownie points by talking freely and poker-faced about the rampant corruption that must be rooted out of our Govt and society. Admirable technique.

The Tri-colour

The National flag and the Congress Party flag carry the same combination of colours and in the same order. The difference is only in the emblem in the middle, the Ashok Chakra in the case of the former and the “hand’ in the case of the latter. When the flags are fluttering at a distance, the emblems are not visible and only the colours stand out.

As any brand manager would say, this causes “brand confusion” in the mind of the viewer, with two entities adopting similar symbols.

How was this allowed to happen?

As the website of the Congress Party explains, the erstwhile Indian National Congress adopted the tri-colour flag, with a spinning wheel in the middle, in the year 1921.

When the country attained independence, the Congress flag was adopted as the national flag, but with the ‘spinning wheel’ making way for the “Ashok Chakra”. As Larry Collins and Dominique Lapierre narrate in their book, "Freedom at Midnight" ( via)

"For thirty years, the tricolour sash of homespun cotton khadi, soon to replace the Union Jack on India's horizons, had flown over meetings, marches and manifestations of a people thirsting for independence. Gandhi had designed the banner of a militant congress himself. At the centre of its horizontal bands of saffron, white and green, he had placed his personal seal, the humble instrument he'd proposed to the masses of India as the instrument of their non-violent redemption, the spinning-wheel.

"Now with independence at hand, voices in the ranks of congress contested the right of what they called 'Gandhiji's toy' to occupy the central place in what was about to become their nation's flag. To a growing number of party militants his spinning-wheel was a symbol of the past, a woman's thing, the hallmark of an archaic India turned inwards upon herself.

"At their insistence the place of honour on the national flag was assigned to another wheel, the martial sign of the conquering warriors of Ashoka, founder of the Hindu empire, had borne on their shields. Framed by a pair of lions for force and courage, Ashoka's proud symbol of strength and authority, his dharma chakra, the wheel of the cosmic order, became the symbol of the new India.

The Congress Party continued to use the tri-colour flag with the spinning wheel. The emblem changed to the ‘hand’ sign sometime in the “80s, after the break-away group of Indira Gandhi’s was given the right by the Election Commission to call itself the “Indian National Congress”. So, the party’s flag continues to sport the tri-colour with the ‘hand’ symbol in the middle. It can still be confused for the National Flag.

I am not aware if this has been challenged or taken up with the Election Commission. The Congress Party by using a flag deceptively similar to the National Flag may be subliminally planting the idea in the voter’s mind that it is the party that has the stature and the right to govern the country. Suits have been filed on far trivial or ridiculous grounds and I don’t see why this should not be taken up.

The Emblems and Names (Prevention of Improper Use) Act, 1950 prohibits the use of any of the emblems mentioned in the schedule (and the Indian National flag figures in that list) or any colourable imitation thereof, for the purpose of any trade, business, calling or profession, without the previous permission of the Central Govt.

Even though the Congress Party was the one in power for many years after independence, I doubt if the Govt formally granted the permission to the party to use an ‘imitation of the national flag” as its own. Perhaps, the party thought that it was the nation that had to feel obligated to the party for having lent it its flag.

Vacuous and Verbose- 24

The ghost writer who prepared the text of the Republic day address to be delivered by President Prathibha Patil, gave it the title. “Speech for the President of India Smt. Pratibha Devisingh Patil on the eve of Republic Day “.

The Press Information Bureau released it on their site with the same title, implying that it was a speech meant to be heard by the President and not to be inflicted on the public. Perhaps, the idea was to make the President realise how it felt to be at the receiving end.

And what a tiring cliché-ridden speech it is. The template is such that the hot air could have been delivered by any of the Presidents on any of the 60 anniversaries of Republic Day, or any of the anniversaries in the future.

"Superb portion of a superb empire"

This is my 750th post , and my 50th with the BritIndia tag.

My interest in this period of Indian history began when I found that Google Books had an enormous list of publications and reports filed by the British, on their operations in India from the 18th century onwards. These were written by sailors, military personnel, missionaries, scientists, casual travelers, etc. The British loved to keep meticulous notes and publish them for posterity. And they wrote it in a language I could understand.

At first, I indulged in random, lazy surfing. Soon I found that I could ask specific questions and get answers. Who carried out the survey of the terrain before the Railway project was implemented in the 1850s? When did the first steam ship arrive from England? When Karunanidhi claims that Tamil New Year’s day was always celebrated during Pongal, was he right?( No, I discovered) What was Diwali like in India 150 years back? Was Pazhassi Raja as brave a ruler as the movie made him to be?

I must say that I enjoyed doing this, though aware that the posts in this series were the least read and commented on..... Raj

“Howitt’s journal of literature and progress” published in the year 1847 contains a scathing condemnation of the methods adopted by the British East India Company and urges the Govt to liberate the country from the clutches of a scheming, capitalistic entity and to treat India as a superb portion of a superb empire.

Some eight years ago, a society, styled "The British India Society," was organised. No society, in fact, ever began with such brilliant auspices. George Thompson went out to lecture for the society, the first object of which was to throw the light of a real knowledge of the true value of India to this country, and of its utter neglect by the government upon the British public.

The statements which George Thompson made in Manchester, Liverpool, Glasgow, Paisley, etc., before large audiences of the cotton-spinners, merchants, etc., of the capabilities of India to furnish us cotton, sugar, and other tropical articles at immensely cheaper rates than we were paying to the slave-owners of America, produced the strongest sensation. If England only once awoke to a real knowledge of the magnificent opportunity which it possessed, down must go the slavery and the cotton growth of America together, and a career of prosperity and affluence unbounded open up to England.

Let India only be appreciated and employed as it ought, and of what consequence would be the trade or the rivalry of the entire world besides? As Mr. Brotherton once said in parliament: Employ your Indian population, and you may build mills all the way from London to Stockport, and they will not be able to spin fast enough to supply that stupendous population with manufactures."

...And what is the fact now for want of this amicable and beneficent exchange? Misery at home and misery in India—dreadful and wide-spreading misery. And why are this misery and national difficulty perpetuated, with such a simple remedy at hand? Why has Providence put this great and magnificent India into our hands, but for the purpose of rendering us independent of the whole world, and of enabling us to carry on the great work of colonization and civilization in the earth?

And yet we thus stupidly turn our backs on the sun of our fortune and prosperity. For a most singular cause. Simply because our Government, having too much on its hands, has made over this great and fertile India to a trading company in Leadenhall-street, which, with a policy worthy only of a company of Hottentots, is destroying India by a number of the most fatal monopolies, and, for what they imagine to be their own private interests, sacrificing the interests of the whole of the British empire, and of every man, woman, and child in it.

And concludes with this call to the British citizens:

We must, as a great commercial people, apply the principles of free trade to India. As a great mother of colonies, we must take the finest jewel now in our regal crown, Hindostan, out of the degrading hands of a sordid and pettyfogging company.

We must treat her as a superb portion of a superb empire. We must confer the land on the people, and raise the necessary revenue by a fixed and moderate taxation. We must abolish all vital-consuming monopolies, and the work would be done. Capital and capitalists would flow into India as naturally as rivers flow into the ocean.

The employment given to the natives there would be speedily felt in all our manufacturing districts here. Cotton, sugar, rice, silks, wool, dyes, and innumerable other articles, would begin to circulate in abundance at home in exchange for our manufactures, and the days of our darkness—the natural consequence of absurd neglect of natural advantages unparalleled in their kind, unpossessed by any other nation, and of the criminal oppression of millions that would fain enrich us by their labour, would be at an end.

The uplifting experience

While in Mumbai, I visit an office that has two sections, one of which is located on the 25th floor of Block A, and the other on the 25th floor of Block B. The only way to move from one section to another is by coming down to the ground floor in an elevator, walking a few steps to the adjoining Block, and riding the elevator to the 25th floor again. During such transitions, I wonder how life would have been before the elevators were invented.. The answer is, of course, that tall buildings came up only after elevators were available. It was some kind of a symbiotic relationship.

Yet, when we think of the different modes of urban transportation, we think of the bus, the train, the car, but the elevator is denied the credit it deserves. An article I came across recently tries to make amends..

Without the elevator, we would not have experienced the rise of cities. As crucial to the process of urbanization as sewage systems, streetlights, and steel, the elevator enables dense vertical living. Without height, our cities would sprawl out over suburbia and farmland in a blanket of pavement and a noose of traffic.

Not only did the elevator help shape our modern cities, it also offers an object lesson in ecologically sound technology. “It takes about as much energy to run the light inside as it does to run the elevator,”

So, if you are a parent of a school-going child who needs to submit a ‘project report’ on transportation, remind him/her to include some photos of the elevator, apart from the cars and the buses and the trains.

Our World Cup strategy.

The Indian cricket team now in South Africa without the top batsmen, Tendulkar, Sehwag and Gambhir, seems to be doing well. This is a happy situation to be in. If the team loses, we can console ourselves by saying that it was our second team. And if it pulls off a win, we would have the bragging rights. Our national prestige and honour are at stake, you see.

In his essay “ Sporting Spirit”, written in 1945, George Orwell wrote: 

I am always amazed when I hear people saying that sport creates goodwill between the nations, and that if only the common peoples of the world could meet one another at football or cricket, they would have no inclination to meet on the battlefield. Even if one didn't know from concrete examples (the 1936 Olympic Games, for instance) that international sporting contests lead to orgies of hatred, one could deduce it from general principles.

Nearly all the sports practised nowadays are competitive. You play to win, and the game has little meaning unless you do your utmost to win. On the village green, where you pick up sides and no feeling of local patriotism is involved, it is possible to play simply for the fun and exercise: but as soon as the question of prestige arises, as soon as you feel that you and some larger unit will be disgraced if you lose, the most savage combative instincts are aroused.

Anyone who has played even in a school football match knows this. At the international level sport is frankly mimic warfare. But the significant thing is not the behaviour of the players but the attitude of the spectators: and, behind the spectators, of the nations who work themselves into furies over these absurd contests, and seriously believe — at any rate for short periods — that running, jumping and kicking a ball are tests of national virtue.

After India won the second test match in the recent series, Graeme Smith tweeted that he was assaulted with a barrage of abusive messages from Indian tweeters, proving Orwell right. We had acquired the rights of a conqueror and had to trample the fallen-down opponents to dust.

Orwell ends the essay by suggesting that if Britain had to send a football team to Russia that year, they should “send a second-rate team which is sure to be beaten and cannot be claimed to represent Britain as a whole. There are quite enough real causes of trouble already, and we need not add to them by encouraging young men to kick each other on the shins amid the roars of infuriated spectators.”

We should follow the same strategy during the World Cup and ‘injure’ Sachin and make him unavailable for all the important matches. Knowing his level of patriotism, I am sure he would gladly oblige.

The Bridge over the River Beas

"Modern India with illustrations of the resources and capabilities of Hindustan", by Henry H Spry, M.D, published in the year 1838 has this remarkable story ( page 93)of how a suspension bridge over the River Beas was designed and planned by a Major Presgrave, and built entirely with material produced from the iron ore found closeby and using local labour.

Allow me to re-produce the story in its entirety.

"This suspension bridge has been constructed entirely out of the resources of the district, and by an amateur mechanic, who had never seen an iron suspension bridge in his life and yet we have an assurance from the visiting engineer for the northwestern provinces and Central India—Major Irvine, C.B., that he had seen nothing superior to it in England.

The undertaking was altogether an experimental one; for, as I have elsewhere mentioned, there are no roads in this part of the country of any extent, and, consequently, little or no traffic between remote places; its undertaking, therefore, originated in a desire to ascertain the capabilities of the materials and the workmen employed.

Saugor, and the districts in its neighbourhood, abound in iron ore; and the authorities were anxious to prove whether this valuable mineral could be manufactured into bars of a quality fit for bridges, and whether, at the same time, they could be fashioned by native smiths, who had never wrought, or even seen, iron of the required dimensions.

Major Presgrave, then assay-master at the Saugor mint, voluntarily gave his services to government on the occasion; and it was he alone who planned, entered on, and accomplished an undertaking which, considering the circumstances under which it was projected, must be esteemed a truly wonderful performance.

It forms a striking instance of genius, aided by the light of science, vanquishing apparently insurmountable obstacles. Engineers in Europe, accustomed to find everything provided for their wants, can scarcely conceive the difficulties which were encountered on the onset of this erection. None, save a master-mind, could have borne up against them. Not only was the business of builder and overseer, together with the subordinate trades of brick-maker, mason, carpenter, and iron manufacturer, to be added to his duties of architect and draughtsman, and that too in a climate in which a trifling exertion produces exhaustion, while incautious exposure will bring on fever and death; but he was also obliged to make the tools, and, ab initio, to teach the hands by which they were to be employed!

The foundation was laid in April, 1828, and the building completed and thrown open to the public in June, 1830. The iron of which it is formed is entirely the produce of the Nerbudda districts. When the bridge was projected, it was still in a state of ore in the mines, whence it had to be extracted, and smelted into small lumps, by the ordinary charcoal process of the country. The working of these crude, impure masses into good bars of the requisite dimensions and strength, proved to be a work of extreme difficulty and labour.

At the onset, two attempts were made before a rocky bottom could be found on which to lay the foundation. The banks of the river on either side are thirty-four feet high; the masonry was commenced six feet under the low-water level; the piers are forty-two feet high, the road-way being raised two feet above the ordinary surface of the country. The necessity of this precaution is apparent from the fact, that notwithstanding the height of the river banks, the freshes, during the season of the periodical rains, come down in such torrents that oftentimes the country is overflowed, and consequently, were not the platform of the bridge out of their reach very serious damage might be occasioned.

The bridge is 200 feet in span, between the points of suspension. The clear portion of the platform measures 190 feet by 11-1/2t. The tension of the bridge and chains, unloaded, is estimated, at either point of suspension, to be 95,632 tons; while, supposing the clear portion of the platform 190 feet by 11-1/2, or 2185 square feet, crowded with men at 691bs each superficial foot, the loaded bridge will have a weight of 120 tons; while the tension at each point of suspension will be 217,674 tons. This gives ten tons as the maximum strain that can be applied to the square inch of 'sectional area of iron. The general tension will, of course, be less than half that quantity.

A compact body of men, as a regiment of soldiers, for example, marching over a suspension bridge, is the severest test that can well be devised to prove the strength of the work, and since the completion of the Saugor suspension bridge, many corps of infantry have passed over it; effectually proving, had there been a doubt, which I believe there never was, in the mind of Major Presgrave on the subject, that the bars were sufficiently wrought to sustain this immense weight.

Every bar, before it was allowed to leave the yard, was tested by an apparatus for the purpose. It was made to bear a strain greater than its individual share would be when joined to its fellows, so that every precaution was taken that ingenuity could devise to insure success. Moreover, in the jointing of the bars, a method was pursued altogether new; but, in simplicity and efficiency, all judges who have examined it have decided to be, far superior to the plan commonly practised.

In the iron-work of the bridge there are twentyeight tons eleven hundred and eighty pounds of metal, which, in its finished state, cost about £2 12s. a hundred weight. The whole erection stood the Government in about £4800, exclusive of a present of £500 which Lord William Bentinck made to Colonel Presgrave, as a remuneration for his services, when his Lordship visited Saugor, in 1832-33; making the entire cost something more than £5000 sterling.

Notwithstanding the countless extra expenses incidental to a first undertaking of this kind, and the distance to which all the materials were obliged to be transported, from the work-yard at Saugor to the place of erection, the bridge has been pronounced to be cheaper than those in Calcutta constructed of English materials."

The narrator concludes the story with this eloquent praise.

"Here then we have a structure which, in elegance, in magnitude, and in durability, may vie with the most perfect specimens of the kind in civilized Europe. And yet fashioned out of the oxydized metal as it lies embedded in the bowels of the earth, by the rude hands of a class of artisans, by no means as expert as their countrymen in northern Hindustan, and the whole emanating from the genius and unremitting industry of one mastermind! Does not this speak volumes? Does it not satisfactorily show what India can do when her resources are properly drawn forth? And is it not a reproof to all who would seek alike to depreciate the country and the capabilities of her people? While an empire possesses engineers and artificers who are able to accomplish such a work as the Saugor iron suspension bridge, the infusion of capital is all that is required to render that country great among the civilized kingdoms of the world; and to this point must India arrive, if proper steps be taken to bring her capabilities into active exertion."

Vacuous and Verbose- 23

When inflation goes out of control, the Govt must be seen to be acting promptly and decisively. The root cause must be found and remedial steps taken. Communication channels must be opened. The public must get the necessary assurance that matters will be set right soon.

The Finance Minister, one of the most capable administrators the country has ever seen,  has zeroed in on the crux of the inflation problem with admirable precision. He has determined that bottlenecks in the supply chain of food items have caused inflation and these had to be removed so as improve availability of items to bring down their prices quickly.

To convey to the public that the FM was on the job, the Press Information Bureau came out with a release that carried the following headlines:

Finance Minister Writes to the Chief Ministers to take Immediate Action to remove all Bottlenecks in the Supply Chain of Food Items Causing Inflation and Improve their availability to Bring Down their Prices Quickly.

The press note begins with the following sentence that captures the essence of the FM’s message in a succinct manner:

Union Finance Minister Shri Pranab Mukherjee has urged all the State Governments to ensure that all bottlenecks in the supply chain are removed at the earliest and the availability of the items that are driving the current round of food inflation in the economy, is improved so that food prices can be brought down quickly.

The note ends with a crisp punch line to reiterate the message and leave no doubt whatsoever in the reader’s mind:

He asks the State Governments to ensure that all bottlenecks in the supply chain are removed at the earliest and the availability of the food items causing inflation is improved so that their prices can be brought down quickly.

Aren't you happy that you have a capable Finance Minister with a thorough knowledge of economic theories and who doesn't hesitate to direct State Govts to ensure that all bottlenecks in the supply chain causing inflation are removed at the earliest and the availability of the food items is improved so that their prices can be brought down quickly?

Cricket in India- 160 years ago

“An Encylopaedia of Rural Sports” published in the year 1840 talks about the spread of cricket in the British colonies. (page 134)

"Kent, Sussex. Hampshire, Surrey, and Middlesex, were formerly the principal counties in which cricket was much played, but its attractions have spread it through most parts of England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland; and the examples of Englishmen have carried it to France and other continental countries. Even the burning clime of India cannot wholly keep down the practice of it; and, wherever the active and vigorous sons of Britain sojourn, the deep-rooted love of the game is sure to spring up in the tangible shapes of bats, ball, and wickets, surrounded by batters and scouts. The metropolitan resort of cricketers is a large area, called Lord's Ground, in Marylebone; and here is held the club, which is looked up to as the highest authority in the country in every thing appertaining to the game."

In his book, “Ten years in India: The life of a young officer”, published in the year 1850, Captain Albert Harvey of the 40th Regiment of Madras Infantry records ( page 275) that the natives were taking to the game quite well and were even becoming ‘adept’ at it.

I was glad to find that our officers and men were great cricketers; a capital game among Europeans, but one which I had not the slightest conception would be played by natives; 'twas therefore quite a novelty to me. The adjutant was very fond of the game himself, and taught it to the men, who in a very short space of time became perfect adepts in the art of batting, bowling, and fielding.

We used to meet regularly every evening, and have capital fun, officers and men siding and playing matches. I do not remember ever having seen men enter into the spirit of this noble game as did our fellows: they have such quick eyes that their batting was capital; and, as for bowling, I venture to say that our best at it would astonish even " Lillywhite' himself.

At fagging they were untiring, and in catching particularly expert. They got into the regular way of play; made use of all the phrases and technicalities of the game; had their umpires and their scorers, and did the thing in a manner that quite surprised me. All our steadiest and best behaved men were players. Their attending kept them out of mischief; it gave them amusement as well as exercise; and brought them in daily contact with their officers, with whom they got acquainted, and to whom they became attached by constant intercourse.

I know some who objected to the officers and men playing together, upon the plea of its creating too great familiarity between the two grades. So far from such being the case, I never once saw an instance of even one man taking any liberties or approaching to any familiarity with the officers; on the contrary, they were ever respectful, and invariably kept themselves under proper restraint.

Any of the cricketers losing his temper, from any cause, would be immediately scouted by the rest, and not allowed to play. They were all led to understand that while playing they were supposed to be doing so to enjoy themselves; all squabbling was therefore forbidden; everybody was to be in perfect good humour ; each was to do as he liked; there was no compulsion; but the rules of the game were to be strictly attended to, leaving all disputed points to be settled by the umpires chosen for that purpose.

Update 081111: As @KVSarmaJ pointed out to me on Twitter, maybe Lagaan was a true story!

Misplaced celebrations.

Peter Roebuck writes in his column:

Usman Khawaja is set to become the first Muslim to play cricket for his country. Of course it is a great day for the player but it's also a breakthrough for cricket and his country.

Some locals insist that the newcomer's faith is irrelevant and ought not to be mentioned. After 140 years a Muslim plays for Australia and it does not matter? To the contrary it is a cause for celebration, a step towards enlightenment.

Though Roebuck has already dismissed the question, it needs to be asked. Why should the person’s faith matter at all, in a discussion of cricket?

In a Utopian world, it is possible to highlight points of differences between individuals, and celebrate the rich diversity. The Bombay Quandrangular cricket tournament in the 1920s was an inter-racial contest involving Hindus, Muslims, Parsees and Europeans. An Indian Christian could not take part. The Europeans would not admit Indians, and the Hindus, Muslims and Parsees would not admit Christians. Later, a fifth team called the Rest was included, so that the Buddhists, Christians and Jews could play.

The Pentangular was eventually abandoned when there were fears of ‘communal unrest’. The Ranji Trophy took its place and provincial teams replaced teams based on religion.

Unfortunately, faith has the tendency to arouse baser instincts and, in the long run, to do more harm than good. So, even if there are some positives, we will have to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Diversity is one thing, divisiveness another. It is bad enough that we have to divide people on the basis of nationality. But, we will have to live with this aspect for purely administrative convenience. The entire world cannot be kept boundaryless and governed from a central place.

So, when we have national teams such as Australia, Pakistan, India competing, the emphasis has to be solely on the person’s nationality. You are permitted to say that Khawaja is of Pak-origin, but his Islamic faith is not relevant and needs no emphasis..

Sale: Flat 80% discount

I was in a mall in Delhi the week after Diwali and observed that almost all the showrooms had displayed huge signs announcing “Sale: Flat discount of 80%”. Curious, I stepped into one of the shops and took a look at the shirts being sold. The price tags were in the range of Rs 1800-2500 for some unknown brands of dubious quality. Clearly, the prices had been marked up by 400% or so. I walked out in disgust.

This deception is a result of a vicious cycle created by buyers and sellers together. Buyers are more likely to buy a shirt when the price is calculated as Rs 400, from a price tag that reads ‘Rs 2000’ (less 80% discount) than when it honestly reads ‘Rs 400”. Everybody looks for a bargain all the time, and the sellers know this.

But if this trick is so obvious and so well known, why do sellers still resort to it? The principle at work is “You can fool a different set of people at different times” or “a sucker is born every minute.” There would be some buyers who would presume that the shoppers were getting rid of unsold inventory, post-Diwali, at throwaway prices. And the price tag of“Rs 2000” confers the stamp of good quality on the shirt, right?