That Tiger Woods had confessed to having 121 affairs is old hat. His wife, hereinafter referred to as Tigress Woods, had still let him off with a warning.
Recently, she seems to have learnt that Tiger Woods had not revealed details of his 122nd affair with their neighbour’s 22-year old daughter. This seems to have upset Tigress a good deal. (source).
At the time I am posting this, it is not clear what exactly has upset her. Is it the fact that Tiger had an affair with their neighbour’s 22-year old daughter? Or that he had had an affair with their neighbour’s 22-year old daughter? Or that he had had an affair with their neighbour’s 22-year old daughter?
What exactly are her objections is not material to this case. Or germane to the larger issue I am going to discuss. Suffice to note at this stage that the 122nd affair was the proverbial straw that broke the proverbial camel’s proverbial back.
For centuries, the male of the human species has been testing the marital waters, wondering what the threshold limit is when it comes to the number of extra-marital affairs one can get away with. Thanks to Tiger Woods, it is now known that the threshold is 121. Upto this magical number, the wife is tolerant ( “boys will be boys after all”). Beyond 121, she blows a fuse.
I propose that we refer to this number, henceforth, as the Woods number. It would be a fitting tribute to the man. Those of you who want to start a wiki entry on the subject may provide the definition that Woods number (121) is the number of affairs a man can safely have before his wife says ‘enough is enough’.
But wait. Just as Dunbar number ( 150 for human beings) can vary with species, can Woods number vary with race, religion and nationality? Is the number 121 valid only in the USA? What about India?
To establish the results following rigorous scientific methods, I invite male, married bloggers from India to participate in an experiment to determine the Woods number for this part of the world. Carefully document the affairs that you are having and allot serial numbers. When your wife files a petition for divorce, let me know the serial number of the affair that made that happen. I will add my own inputs and share the findings with the rest of you.
11 comments:
What???
So many stupid women - I think it might be a better research subject to see what is it about the geographical region that affects their judgement so badly!
As for not divulging affair #122 come on when you are dealing with an operation of such large scale you are bound to miss out on a few.
Or considering the uncertainty of his marital situation in the recent past he may not be sure if this particular one actually qualifies as 'EXTRA-marital'. Cut some slack will ya, he is a busy man. How much can he be expected to remember?
Ok, he forgot.
But, his wife kept counting, didn't she, as he was confessing? What snapped between affair No 121 and 122?
Raj - Well past the Statistical Indian male mid life point, I think you are getting wicked....Para 3 had me laughing out aloud in my office....Balaji
P.S : Is affair # 1 categorized as his wife or is his wife categorized as # 0?
Balaji, wife is always #0. Affairs are extra-marital ones. You don't have an affair with your own wife.
Raj - You need to convince me on why a man cannot have an affair with his wife ? You cannot convince me on email - it has to be over a few cups of coffee...at the end of it, if I am convinced, I will pay...else...you must pay...Balaji...
Balaji, next you will argue that it is possible to have an adulterous relationship with one's own wife. You'll stoop to anything, won't you, to avoid paying for the coffee?
Raj - I am glad that you have agreed to pay for coffee.. ...but you now have set my imagination wild....adulterous relationship with one's own wife...interesting angle. As a wild thought, what if both husband and wife undergo sex change surgery - do they have to get remarried to be still legally wedded ?...Balaji..
Balaji, it looks like you are hell-bent on having 122 affairs with your wife. Note that Woods number is not relevant to such intra-marital affairs.
hahahah wicked ..
HaHa! The things you think of! Well, we'd like to hear what's your "Woods Number", for a starter. By the way, didn't Tigress have any affair? Boring, if she didn't. Perhaps we'd arrive at different numbers genderwise too...
Preeti. My Woods number? As a friend put it, I would score higher on the "deadwoods number".
And about the tigress> Isn't she missing the woods for the trees?
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